“I know you don’t get horny”, “Do you actually feel an urge?” “I know your dating life pretty much sucks!” Yes, these are just some of the questions and comments I am asked and hear quite often being a 32 year old virgin. Hi guys, my name is Jeanna Carie and I am hear to tell you the dirty secrets of being a 32 year old virgin and the importance of waiting.
Don’t ever in a million years listen to anybody that says “waiting” is super easy! It’s all LIES! Run and don’t ever talk to that person again.
The Honest Truth: It’s Not Easy Being a Virgin
The truth is, it’s not easy being a virgin and simply waiting to give yourself away to the man or woman that truly deserves the deeper part of your soul and heart.
The truth is your dating life is rocky, you get horny, the urge is even stronger, you do fall into self satisfaction, and watching flicks to make you feel like you are in the moment. Yes, even being SAVED, you deal with these struggles on a daily basis.
Most people think because you are saved, serve in ministry, lead the youth department, lead praise and worship, you just have these supernatural powers like captain planet and you can make these feelings, emotions, and hormones go away.
On the real, the church does not teach about being human and it’s okay to feel these feelings, and urges, and the wants. We are also not taught how to deal with these feelings, urges, thoughts, emotions, and the wants.
The Bible – Black and White Only
Yes, the Bible is black and white when it talks about sex. We can try to make it seem okay in our own “deep” way, but the truth is.. it’s not okay. There is a reason the Bible talks about not having sex until marriage. I want to give you the practical and Biblical truth of why you should wait.
I was searching on google one day and I decided to type ” The number one reason why people give up their virginity”. Well 75% of the answers are “I feel safe with the person”. Yes, I completely understand when you are in a relationship.
You feel all the Woo’s and Ahh’s of being with that person that whispers sweet nothings. The person that you can vibe with, hug, kiss, be there for, have pillow talk with and etc. You begin to build trust with this person and it is just a feeling that you have never felt! It’s so exciting right?
So then you are in the room with him or her one night, you begin to kiss, touch in places that you would never let a stranger touch, the tongue grazes your neck, and the next thing you know you hear “Do you trust me?” , “Are you sure?”, “Trust me I got you”, or “I will never hurt you or leave you”. Then BAM, it happens!
You feel like you are on top of the world, but the truth is you just opened a portal to a deeper world that you don’t think will have any affect on you because you don’t feel anything at the time.
Temptation Calling – Just One Time?
Oh yeah, let’s not forget you always hear “It’s only going to happen once and never again”, but WE ALL know that is not the truth. It’s like having a great piece of candy, once you taste it you are going to want it over and over again. You may even crave that candy on a day when you are not even thinking about it. Once again, temptation reminds you of the good taste. So, you get up and run to the store to get it.
So then.. you and your significant other one day get in a fight and you have a bad break up. You become sad, depressed, lonely, frustrated, and begin to question why did you give yourself away to that person. Months go by and you are “healed” and you begin dating someone else.
You start to build something with this person and it just seems so different from the last. The same feelings and emotions are felt from the last relationship, you are with him or her one night then BAM it happens again! You feel like you are just super happy because you feel this time it’s different.
The Cycle Continues – It Happens Again
Then later on for some reason you guys are just not feeling each other and you break up. A couple of months go by and you say “I’m not going to be in a relationship for a while”, but you meet this amazing person and you throw away the thought of “not being with anyone for a while”.
You go through the same emotions and feelings, and BAM (LOL) it happens again. See where I am going with this? You look up and you have slept with 10 people and not even notice, because you opened yourself up to something that now will become normal.
The dirty truth is, you have tied your soul and spirit to all of these people because you “felt safe”. It’s okay to “feel safe” with someone, however adding sex at this point is filling a void and desire of wanting to be with that ONE person for the rest of your life.
S.E.X – It’s More Than a Physical Connection
1 Corinthians 6:16-20 (MSG Bible) states “There is more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in scripture, “The two become one”. Since we want to become one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever-the kind of sex that can never “become one”.
There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for “becoming one” with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit?
Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.”
The Reward in Waiting – You’re Worth It
Guys, I am here to tell you that you are worth the wait and there is such a great reward when you wait to have sex with the purpose mate that God wants to reward you with. Having sex outside of marriage makes you give yourself away illegally in every single way possible and it also clouds your judgement when it come to being in healthy relationships.
You begin to change in ways and even settle when you think you aren’t. You also risk contracting STD’s, pregnancy, creating a broken home dynamic if a child comes into the picture, and more. These consequences can re-route your entire life and add elements that can delay what God really has for you.
Surround yourself with individuals that want to be or are on this journey to hold you accountable. This is one of the main things to keep you on a good path.
If you do decide to date, be intentional about your selection process! Make sure you are with someone that will be on the journey with you. It makes it VERY easy to not fall into the trap. If he/she cannot wait with you on the journey, you may want to re-evaluate dating the person. You are worth the wait!
Protect your heart, soul, and most important protect your purity. Know who you are and know God has someone tailored just for you that will rock your entire world and life. I love you guys! Thank you for reading! Toodles!