What are the top nine most common mistakes made while dating celibate? Well, dating while celibate is challenging and mistakes are common. Let’s face it. But, what’s more important is that one learns from his or her mistakes. Repeating the same mistakes over and over again lead to failure. So, let’s discuss prevention.
1.) Pretending You’re Not Abstinent
One of the most important things one must do while dating as a celibate person, is to remain true. It should be well known that you aren’t having sex. Pretending you’re something you aren’t is misleading. Don’t allow yourself to be portrayed incorrectly. You are unlike the rest of the world. Therefore, you shouldn’t act as if you’re “giving it up.” From the very start, tell your dating partner you won’t be having sex. It’s only fair. In addition, it helps to reduce disappointment. Both parties may gain feelings early on. So, you should make sure the truth is revealed. If you feel a person won’t be accepting of your lifestyle, he or she isn’t for you. That’s a good indication you should move on. Don’t be afraid to be who you are. You should always stand strong for the things you believe in. Never hesitate to be open.
2.) Netflix and Chilling
Netflix and chilling are very common. However, when you’re abstinent, it shouldn’t be very common at all. It should be uncommon as a matter of fact. Especially if there’s a strong physical attraction between two people. Watching movies in an environment with only two people present, is tempting. Watching a movie on a date, likely in the darkness, can increase sexual tension. Therefore, this environment should be avoided altogether. Especially if it’s hard to control sexual thoughts and desires. If a celibate couple wants to watch a movie, the theater should be considered. It’s fun, quality time well spent, and an overall good time. Help yourself out, and don’t place yourself in tempting situations. You’ll make it a lot easier to refrain from “slipping up.”
3.) Ignoring Red Flags
Red flags are supposed to be very obvious signs one should run. If your intuition is telling you something isn’t right about a person, it’s usually spot on. Likewise, if the person you’re dating is telling you they aren’t sure about refraining from sex, they mean it. Therefore, you should leave. The problem is that most people think they can change others. Kind-hearted people especially have this problem. They believe they’ll be able to convince the other party to be abstinent as well. However, this usually doesn’t happen. While a celibate person may convince other people occasionally, it doesn’t always happen. Why become attached to a person that doesn’t have the same values? Plus, it’s a no brainer they will eventually desire sex. So, if you plan on remaining celibate, you’ll need to avoid dating people who’ll want sex. Simple as that.
4.) Sexual Flirting
Flirting is a common practice. Most people like to flirt. It’s a proven fact. However, flirting while celibate isn’t always innocent. It can often involve sexual innuendos. This sets the stage for lust. In addition, it also sets the stage for temptation. A little sexual flirting via text message never hurt anyone right? Wrong. Very wrong. This type of flirting can land you in the wrong position (no pun intended). It also takes one’s mind to a place it shouldn’t travel. A sexual place. Just refrain from going there altogether.
5.) Sleep Overs
Sleepovers are a big no-no. Most people sleep in the same bed during a sleepover. In a few rare instances, couples may decide to sleep in separate places. But this isn’t common. However, all in all, sleeping over each other‘s residences isn’t a wise decision. Now, while everybody may be at different places in their celibacy journey, most people can agree temptation occurs in the bedroom. So, if sleeping in the same bed is a normal practice for you, and you can remain abstinent, kudos to you. But in most cases, that’s unrealistic. The goal is to stay celibate until marriage. Keep it that way.
A little fondling never hurt anybody right? Wrong, wrong, wrong. While fondling is just wrong altogether, it usually leads to other things. By other things, I mean sex. Touching one another is considered foreplay. Also, don’t forget lust is never satisfied. Once two people dance with temptation, it always wants more. So, take several steps back. Don’t fondle.
7.) Staying Too Long
Once a person realizes the individual they’re dating isn’t for them, they should leave. However, many people choose to stay too long. It may be disappointing to discover you’re not meant to be with a particular person. But, don’t waste time. Time is precious. Therefore, it shouldn’t be misused. There are too many other eligible celibate people in the world to focus on just one person.
8.) Ignoring God
This is a big one. Ignoring God can lead to heartbreak. God gives us intuition. He also drops signs when we’re dating. He’ll let us know if we need to end the relationship. Refraining from listening can only lead to one place. Distraction. Relationship distraction. If the Lord is telling you things won’t end well, believe him. He knows what’s best for you. If remaining celibate is important to you, listen to God.
9.) Not Praying
Prayer is one of the most valuable tools God gives us. Whenever you’re dating a new person, pray about it. Pray to see if you should be dating them at all. Ask God to reveal his or her true intentions. Without prayer, one can make a lot of mistakes. Allow God to guide you. Listen to his voice, and act. If he says leave, then leave. He’s only looking out for your heart.